LIVING A BIGGER LIFE

So many people are living a half-life. Hiding some or a big part of who they are at work and in life. Are you one of them?

What stops you from showing up as the whole you – the complete, authentic and raw you?

My guess is fear. Fear of not being liked, not accepted, not being happy.

I get that. I really do. I spent a considerable part of my life wanting, no, needing to be liked and accepted by people around me. Little did I know that when you are a square peg in a round hole, it will never fit. It just won’t. And the beauty of it is, I didn’t need to fit in. I just had to find other square pegs, and once we found each other, we sat together basking in our glory 😊 So why am I telling you this?

When you live your life hiding who you are, holding yourselves back, playing small, you’re doing a disservice to yourself and the world around you. You see, when you were younger, the authentic you was likely compromised. Someone told you not to be too loud, too quiet, too thin, too fat, too ……… (fill in your truth here). That was the start of you moulding yourself according to what others deem important, and you learnt what societal norms you need to adhere to be accepted. You attached meaning to it and understood that people won’t like me if I am ‘too quiet’. This became your truth. Now you liked being quiet and not chatting away all the time. But, the people around you had a different plan, a different idea of how life should be. And hence, you learnt not to accept and nourish and cherish this part of you which in reality never left you. It was just squashed away.

So why do we squash away parts of us and believe it to be the right thing?

The fundamental human need is to be seen and loved.

We all strive to be seen. Even if it is just one person. For some of us, that is enough. So, in order to be seen and loved, we started showing up less. Observed and hid parts of ourselves we thought wouldn’t be liked by others. Started pretending to be a certain way because that’s how everyone is, and it will make us more likeable. And so began the journey of survival rather than thriving in our day to day. So began the belief that I am not enough. In order to be seen and loved, I have to be someone else.

Are you tired of not being seen? This can only end when you commit to honouring yourself. So let me ask you, are you ready to start living life as the whole you?

Let’s discuss some steps that you can start taking right away to start showing up in life as the authentic you.

1.LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR

Mel Robins recently released a book called The High 5 Habit. If you haven’t read it, I highly encourage you to do so. The book talks about cheering yourself on by giving yourself a high 5 in the mirror. Really powerful stuff. What I want you to do is, go to the mirror each morning and look at yourself. I mean, really look at yourself for who you are, wrinkles, fat and all. Look into your eyes and see you as you would a loved one. And acknowledge yourself. Tell yourself I am me, I see you, I know you. I’ve got you.

2.COMMIT YOURSELF TO 1 THING

Identify one part of you that you are really proud of, but you may keep it hidden at work or in life. A part of you that very few people may see. Identify it, become aware of when you do and do not show it. Then commit to being always true to yourself and not hide that part of you no matter what. Stick to your commitment even if there is fear, and do it anyway. Start with 1 thing, and when you master it, commit to one thing more.

3.SPEAK YOUR TRUTH

Don’t hold yourself back when you have a thought, an idea, an opinion. Not everyone’s idea is accepted, and no one dies as a result of it. Show up in life little by little, one day at a time, where you share what comes up for you unafraid, unhindered. By speaking up when it feels right, you are honouring yourself. Speak up without worrying whether one idea or thought will affect how people see you. The world is a noisy place; people only remember stuff that genuinely resonates with them. Let your voice resonate with 1 person today.

People are doing extraordinary things each day because they are honouring who they are. Honour yourself today, show up, speak up.

I stopped hiding years ago. Quit trying to fit in where I didn’t belong. As a result, I made space for the square pegs like myself and have never felt freer. I wish the same for you. I invite you to give yourself the gift of letting go of the ‘shoulds’ and start embracing the ‘wants’.

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of honouring your wants.

I love hearing back from you. Do share your thoughts and stories, as it really inspires me to read them.

.
Enjoy reading my blogs? Sign up for my newsletter, where I share tips on Authentic Leadership and Career Acceleration each week.
.

Also, let’s get connected on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram!