International Women’s Day – A Fad

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Once upon a time, I used to be energised by International Women's Day (IWD). I paid extra attention, participated in and organised events, celebrated women, highlighted the work we have done and shed light on what is yet to come.

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Slowly and gradually, this positive light went away.

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You see, the world over, I saw women and men use the physical body signs circulated by organisers of International Women's Day and Lean In. They used the hashtags, themes and pledge cards and became visible in their support at their workplaces and LinkedIn.

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Once the day passed, it seemed like the pledge they made was forgotten. I am not saying that they didn't do things to progress the women of today, but that specific pledge. Perhaps, for some, the active activism on IWD was also something that was eventually forgotten.

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And this made me upset. You see, when you are a woman who has to face the many biases that exist, struggle to stand out, shoulder people's ignorance daily, knowing you are paid less, celebrating one day and forgetting about it for the rest of 364 days was unacceptable.

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And so, a few years back, I stopped using prompts.

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I started writing, but it came out angry. Nobody likes angry. People like happy and hopeful. Because we live in a glass world where we would rather live in a bubble than face what's inside. See angry me.

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This was accelerated this year when I read a report that says that women of colour face biases, and when asked, they said they didn't. They actually believed they didn't. The truth was far from it. They had learnt to accept that those biases were 'normal'. They should 'expect' it.

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This was taught to them. This was taught to me. I nearly fell off my chair when I realised this.

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Speak a certain way, say certain things, dress a certain way – because we are different, and we have to adjust to be accepted. And accept that we won't be accepted fully. Every person of colour, and especially women, have been told a version of this advice, whether they are aware of it or not.

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I even went on Rachel's podcast a few months ago and openly said (because I believed) that I have never faced any bias being a woman of colour in the corporate world. Looking back, I feel I couldn't have been more wrong. I learned to train myself to accept certain biases and call them normal. Therefore, it is not a bias anymore.

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I don't want this for my daughters. I want a better world. A world where we see people rather than focus on what they look like and let our biases takeover.

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When you learn to accept that you will be treated differently, you have to work harder, you will always be seen as different, and that's ok, and learn to compensate for other people's ignorance and shortcomings, life becomes easier. You go with the flow, not getting triggered by prejudices, in fact, working hard to not notice it and even ignoring it. It is easier to accept and live than become aware and fight.

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This is the same for women (of any colour). You don't want to be seen as too soft, too pushy, too bossy, etc. etc. So you mould yourself so you can fit in, not seen as too feminine, too caring, too anything. It will affect how people see you and, therefore, directly impact your growth. You see, most senior people are white men.

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For a long time, I shouldered responsibility for my team's well-being and almost took away my manager's responsibility by doing it. Women tend to do more by default. Men don't even notice it. So then, how do you call something out without putting the person who is directly responsible for your growth and compensation on a backfoot? See my challenge as a woman? This is just one example.

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So, this year, I recognised my triggers around IWD. And I promised myself to step into the soft power. I will embrace all the strengths that I bring to the table as a woman unapologetically – empathy, kindness, being tough, expecting high standards, fighting for equity and equality, mentorship, speaking up, calling out my own biases, and letting go of anger and making space for service. Being in service of people around me and making a difference in people's lives, one person at a time.

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So, my friends, that's my journey of IWD. Of activism. Of ignorance. Of hopeful action.

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Whether you are a man or a woman, take time to become aware and understand why equality & equity is important. Some examples I have mentioned are a lived reality for millions of people. I encourage you to learn, notice and act. You never know how one act of kindness is all that someone needs that day.

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I love hearing back from you. Do share your thoughts and stories, as it really inspires me to read them.

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Categories: DEI, Purpose, Women Leadership