ONLY PROFESSIONAL SELF ALLOWED AT WORK

When I started out 16 years ago in the corporate world, I knew people 'hid' themselves at work. They dressed differently, were careful of sharing their opinions, even changed a part of themselves to be professional. They presented a version of themselves that would be acceptable and eventually help them grow.

That never sat right with me. I just showed up as me. I didn't know any other way, neither was I willing to learn. I did wonder a few times if it would hold me back, but voila, apparently it didn't 😉

Interestingly, I thought the world had progressed. I realise it hasn't.

I was chatting to my 11-year old a few days back, and she asked me, 'Are you the same person with me, at work and with your friends?' I said yes. She looked at me quizzically and said, but aren't you more serious at work and with your clients? I said nope. Then she asked, but surely when you are coaching, you are 'coach like'. I have no idea what she meant by 'coach like' LOL. I told her it's all me – here, there and everywhere. And at that moment, I saw her eyes light up – I could sense she got the permission to be herself wherever she was. She sees me working hard, and I know she worries she will have to work this hard when she grows up. And then to be someone else on top of that? No, thank you.

Interestingly, I met a few clients the next day, and we ended up having a similar chat. Some of them were much younger, less experienced than I am. I 'assumed' in today's world where the younger generation is more apt at saying 'this is me, this is how I show up'; things would have changed. But sadly not. I saw the surprise on their faces, the intent listening, and the thoughtful nods as we talked about the value of bringing your authentic self to work.

This made me think, how many people out there show up as a different version of themselves? Why do they do what they do? Why do people hide themselves? And why did you start hiding or changing in the first place?

While I don't know why people are not themselves everywhere, I can share my approach and hope you take something from this.

TRUST YOUR HEART. TRUST YOUR MIND.

The greatest asset you have in your life is a heart you should listen to and a mind that will guide you. (I know people say a heart that will guide you and a mind that you should listen to…just bear with me.) When it comes to showing up as the beautiful, courageous, kind-hearted soul you are, don't give in to fear. Don't let fear shape who you are or what you want the world to see of you. Trust your heart, trust your mind, and therefore trust yourself. When you trust that what you will say and do is the right thing for you, what you believe in, everything will start flowing freely. It will give you the courage to say things you want to; it will allow you to do things otherwise you wouldn't have. It will make you happy because you are in alignment with your internal self.

I rely on my intuition and gut a lot. It has yet to fail me.

BE IN ALIGNMENT.

So, how do you know you are being true to yourself and showing up as your authentic self?

When your internal and external self is aligned. When what you think and what you do are in perfect harmony. This is not about blurting everything out but rather acting in a way that feels right. If your internal self says 'speak up', you speak up (and not let that nagging voice takeover who is telling you to stay small). And when it says 'do something', you do that too. The result? There won't be regrets. You will be acting in alignment with what you believe, and this will give you courage. Courage will lead to confidence. Confidence will become second nature. The second nature will bring out the best of you - out in the world as the whole of you.

I choose to listen to my inner self, almost have a discussion where required, and act according to what 'we' have agreed upon. It always serves me well.

3. BE BRAVE.

Many choose to stay quiet. To speak and do less. Let others lead. This makes a life half lived. Too often, the fear of losing friends, job, not progressing if (pick one or all):

Don't act in a certain way

Don't dress in a certain way

Don't go for drinks after work

Don't laugh at someone's joke

……………… [Fill in the blanks for yourself]

You keep doing things (or don't do things) out of fear – fear of how others will see you and perceive you, which will impact your progress. But ask yourself, is that really true? If you showed up as you, the real you, will people like you less? I genuinely believe not. What may happen is a different lot might like you a lot more. You might attract a different group, and you might surprise yourself by feeling like you actually belong (maybe for the first time ever).

Even when I wanted to pretend and hide the real me, I didn't. The result? I always knew who my friends were and who are the people who had my back.

Being your authentic self at work is a big deal for many. I get it. But I promise you that you will be a happier person when you stop hiding, making yourself small, and changing yourself. And guess what happens when you see a happy person? You want to be around them. Everyone likes a happy person who is comfortable in their skin. There is something so attractive about them – we can't name it, but it's always inspiring. Be that someone.

I hope this has sparked something inside of you – a little something that enables you to be more of who you are no matter where you are.

If you want to go deep and find the real you, I have a free exercise that you can grab from here. It will help you uncover things about yourself, which will lead to being in alignment with your authentic self. Once you are in alignment, be courageous and show up as the beautiful you everywhere you go. Can't wait to see what you have to share!

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Categories: Leadership, Meaningful Life, Values