AVOIDING CONFRONTATION (AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT)

One of the most common traits that people have, especially the introverts is avoiding confrontation. It’s normal. But, doesn’t make your life easy, does it? Confrontation, as the word suggests has a negative connotation that makes people uneasy and creates anxiety which leads to avoidance. Connotation by definition means a word that invokes a feeling – whether positive or negative.

So, what if you flipped the word confrontation and called it addressing issues for the betterment of the company/team/business/family? How does that change things for you?

You see, when you focus on a word that has a negative connotation, your brain goes into protection mode and wants to keep you safe. This leads to avoidance which if you really check in with yourself, anyways creates tension in your body because you are focusing all your energy in avoiding it. On the other hand, if you started changing all the words in your vocabulary and using those that have positive connotations, this will have a huge impact on how you react/respond to people and situations as well as face challenges.

So, going back to the example, if confrontation is now about addressing issues for the betterment of the team, instead of focusing on yourself and how confrontation makes you feel and your instinct to avoid, your focus has shifted to others. As human beings, we are naturally drawn to helping others, in fact we would put ourselves in uncomfortable situations more for others than our own selves. So now that your focus has shifted to helping others, you get into action and look for solutions. When you look for solutions, everyone is moving towards the same goal – how to resolve the current challenge. The focus is no more on what you want and how you don’t want to address the issue and more on how do we address ‘this’ issue together and what is the best way forward.

Other examples of switching words that helps with positive action are:

Nosy…how about interested or curious?
Stubborn…how about persistent or dedicated?
Lazy…how about chilled or laid back?
Pushy…how about driven or assertive?

See how easy it is to have a different perspective when you want it to? From the above examples, can you see how easy it is to slowly but surely change how you see difficult situations and people and be at ease when faced with challenges?

I hope you took away something valuable today. Just change the focus and the focus allows you to move forward. Make sure the focus is positive and things will be easier, joyful, less stressful.

I love hearing back from you. Do share your thoughts and stories, as it really inspires me to read them.

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Categories: Growth, Leadership, Women Leadership