IT'S ALL IN THE MIND

One of the hardest things for an introvert is to show up at a conference, start mingling, make small talk, laugh, and have a grand time.

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They would love to do the above. It’s just really hard. Really, really hard.

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Wanna know a secret about me? I’ve hidden in washrooms every single conference I have attended. For a little while, to kill some time, yes, I have. Until yesterday.

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Extroverts reading, you probably won’t get it, and that’s ok. You really have to experience it to know what it’s like. But read on as what I am about to share is for everyone.

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I am at a conference for 4 days in Edinburgh this week. I thought long and hard about how I wanted to spend this time. Why am I here for all 4 days, and what will I do while I am here. This made my brain go in overdrive. By consciously thinking about it, I told my brain this is important to me, so let’s figure this one out, alright?

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As soon as I flipped it, my brain looked for all sorts of information to feed my conscious mind. Instead of supporting my introverted side, which it had done for decades, it worked with me to find solutions to what ‘I’ wanted to do. It looked for all sorts of ideas and options to help support me. It even gave me courage.

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So, what happened next? My brains offered some solutions before I arrived at the hotel. And well done me, I actioned some on my first day already (hurrah!):

  • Reviewed the attendee list in detail.
  • Reached out to people I (somewhat) knew in advance and let them know I am looking forward to chatting while at the conference. This made it super easy – no more hi I am so and so, who are you. We got straight into some great, meaningful conversation.
  • I saw some names and organisations with whom I want to make a connection. I want to speak to them while I am here. So, I reviewed them on LinkedIn, now I know their faces, know what kind of work they do. My brain thinks I know them. Hence, when I join in a conversation, it will be easier. Yes, it will.
  • I reminded myself, they are just people. Some I will hit it off and have a great conversation, and others will be forced, just like everyday life. You hit it off, great. If it gets awkward, do yourself and that person a favour and gently excuse yourself. Don’t have to force it to make it work.
  • Last but not least, what will I do when I am standing alone?

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In the first coffee break yesterday, I was standing alone for good 7 minutes. Awkward. But I didn’t let it faze me. I didn’t go hide. I didn’t scroll on my phone. I sipped coffee and looked around. I told my brain, you’ve got this. (The prep helped – my brain knew this would happen, and it was ready to support me). They are just people. And people are social animals who like to talk. And when you talk about something that you enjoy, you have a good time. You will spot someone you might know. Just walk over, say hi, join in the conversation. Listen, nod. It will be fine.

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You know what? It was fine. Someone turned over, and we started talking. Then I spotted someone I wanted to say hi (good going on the homework), and I went over to quickly catch up. Soon, the break was over, and we went in for the presentation.

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As a result of minor success earlier in the day, I was more relaxed and confident when it came time for drinks. I could hardly believe I was one of the last ones to leave the area. This has never happened. Like never. And you know the good part, I didn’t stand and talk in large groups, which I would have tried previously. I just spoke to 2-3 people max at a time, which is comfortable for me. It worked really well.

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So, why am I sharing these things with you?

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I reflected a lot on this as it was happening but definitely later in the night as well. I realised it’s all in the head. I can control what my brain does and doesn’t. I can tell it to find solutions, to be calm, to enjoy. My brain will actively find ways to support me. It will help me instead of getting my body in overdrive, making me head to the washroom at the first sign of not having anyone to talk to.

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Your brain is the most powerful thing you have. You have absolute control over it. It only knows what you tell it. And when you share what is important to you, how you would like things to be, and tell yourself, yes you can, things become easier. You get courage. You get inflow.

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My brain worked for me. Your brain can work for you too.

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My friends, I hope today’s blog helps you reflect. Allows you to see a different way of being. To find courage, control, joy.

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I love hearing back from you. Do share your thoughts and stories, as it really inspires me to read them.

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Categories: Growth, Leadership, Meaningful Life